You left me a year ago yesterday. I couldn’t talk or write about it. I thought about it all day.
You were having breakfast at this time last year.
We were playing now.
I was working and you were sleeping on the couch.
We were rushing you to our vet.
Dad was driving us to the specialist, while I held you in my arms.
They whisked you away and I never saw you alive again.
Even today, when I think of you, there is a tightness in my chest and I can’t breathe. Followed by an ache inside of my body that is indescribable.
The pain is just as fresh today as it was a year ago, but it doesn’t seem to consume me as often. I was really sick a few weeks ago and I remember, day 7 or 8 of what felt like slowly dying, laying in bed and crying when I realized that it had been days since I had thought about you.
It’s quite normal for me to catch myself thinking of what you’d do about some new situation (the new guy on the block walking his cute little pugs 8 times a day) or how our pack has changed because you aren’t here and how you’d change things if you were.
It’s not all sad thoughts but even the happy thoughts make me sad some days. And some days they make me so grateful we had the chance to love your precious little soul.
You are missed and loved so very much my sweet boy. My only regret is that we didn’t have more time together. No amount would have been enough.
Yeah, so I was picking up that one puppy yesterday and got a call that she couldn’t be found. I was so devastated. The thought of a blind and possibly deaf little 6 or 7 week old puppy, outside roaming who knows where? I was just sick over it. I had never even met this little girl and I cried for her. And then Snow tried to smother me. That’s another story.
Anyway, a few hours later I got a call that she was found and safe. That was the good news.
The bad news. There were two more puppies.
I’m a volunteer for my rescue so I am in no position to make decisions on who we can take in. I didn’t know what, if any, foster space was available.
However, my immediate thought was the Ohana Rule! Of course we would take them. I quickly texted the Director and before I could finish she said yes.
You see, Ohana means family. And we don’t leave family behind. Even when family is a funny looking aussie.
So we have three puppies for just a day or two. Then the two black tri babies will be off to one foster home and we will foster the little double merle baby. She’s just a wee 2.5 lbs right now and has lived a life that is not acceptable for the princess that she is. That changes today.
It’s been three years since I quit smoking. But the news that is even better than that…Sean has been smoke free for almost 3 months! As a multi-pack-a-day smoker since before we met (1997), it’s been really hard for him to quit. He’s tried so many times in the past 3 years and this is by far the best he’s done.
Today marks our first day of Whole30. In a very quick nutshell, Whole30 is about eliminating certain foods that could be having a negative impact on your body (low energy, aches/pains, issues losing weight, etc). Those specific foods are sugar, alcohol, grains, legumes and MY GOD, dairy.
What’s left? Meat, seafood (which we don’t eat), eggs, vegetables, fruit and health fats like coconut (YUM!), avocado and olive oil.
Once upon a time, when I was diagnosed with a milk allergy, I removed all dairy from my diet. Of course, the options then were eat dairy and go into anaphylactic shock or don’t eat dairy and live. The choice was simple. Today, I eat a lot of cheese…well not today, but prior to today, cheese and I were tight. Cheese and bread…that was dinner.
One of the things I’m excited about is that the Whole30 can change your relationship with food. I have a very bad relationship with food — that goes back probably 30 years. I’m not sure 30 days will change it all that much, but if it changes it even slightly I think I’ll be better off.
Sean kicked things off with a huge shopping trip. I moved everything that was off-limits from our main fridge to the one in the garage. Our deli/cheese draw is stocked with fresh fruit. The door is loaded with eggs, lemon juice, and root vegetables. And the rest of the fridge is overflowing with greens and meat. I don’t think I’ve ever had so much good food at once…I’m a little overwhelmed.
I’m also pretty excited to see how things go. I know this isn’t for everyone and that’s okay with us. We’re going to see how it works and if we like it, we’ll probably adapt to a more paleo diet. I don’t know yet what will come of this, but it will be interesting to see how we feel and what new-to-us food we can cook up.